Jeff Gordon, well-known NASCAR driver, announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. Jeff is taking advantage of President Obama's plea to employ black Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary about how the youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 9 seconds with tens of thousands od dollars' worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent move by Jeff as many races are won or lost in the pits. Gordon got more than he bargained for. At he crew's first practice session, Not only was the Harlem crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 9 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed and some photos of Jeff's wife in the shower.