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Thread: Woman

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Woman

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
    So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    91 Cherokee RC 4.5 long arm lift ECTED locker in the front Lock Rite locker in the rear Warn front and rear bumpers with 8000lb Warn winch sliders Skyjacker shocks and disconects exterior paint orange/black Rinoline. Roof rack with KC lights. SADLY GONE BUT WON'T BE FORGETEN But hay there is still a XJ in the family

    97 TJ 6" Super Lift lift 2" body lift 37x13.5 tires front and rear OX lockers full roll cage custom made f/r bumpers and sliders made by AAE Customs 8000# Ramsey winch with Kevlar rope and a sound system that can make you ears bleed

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    Logan UT
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    Default Re: Woman

    apparently not
    lol
    "if yer not larnin sumptin new everday, check yer pulse."

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Woman


  4. #4
    oderdene's Avatar
    oderdene is offline Level: Uber Jeep Cherokee Trailer Queen
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    Default Re: Woman

    congrats for remaining alive
    '91 XJ Limited | 4.0 H.O. I6 | AW-4 | NP242J | D30 | C8.25 | BFG KM2 33x10.50x15 | front winch bumper ...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Chico, CA
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    Default Re: Woman

    230 hp 4.3L Chevy
    Built 4L60E with manual lockout
    Atlas 4 speed
    Griffin radiator
    On board air
    Warn 9.5ti on custom bumper
    7.5" RE front and bastard pack rear on custom long arms
    30 gal gas tank
    lockers
    And a bunch of other stuff

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    South TEXAS
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    Default Re: Woman

    You sir, are braver than Superman and John Wayne combined.

    +
    Hey bubba get your hand off my ass,

    Some days it is just not worth it to gnaw through the leather restraints.

    R.I.P. Brian 96_XJ Perrine 1990-2011

  7. #7
    LizardRunner's Avatar
    LizardRunner is offline Level: Uber Jeep Cherokee Trailer Queen
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    Default Re: Woman

    wowsers, you are a very brave man. at least she hasn't killed you in your sleep so far.
    2004 4.7v8HO WJ OMG, it's RED , Green bits are now under the hood. Loving the F/R Lockers and D44's. RIP 2011 Lil Ric and Gordo. RIP 2012 Jessie RIP 2013 Kat. RIP 2013 Ed . Lizards can always climb but sometimes they loose their tails to get away. The true patriot will stand beside the soldier when the time comes to fight Now building Asnikiye heca (Buzzard's Roost) homestead farm. My road is my wheeling trail

  8. #8
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    Houston, Texas
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    Default Re: Woman

    I bet you had to duck real fast after stating that last line
    Semper Fi

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