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Thread: COSTCO Doctor

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    549

    Default COSTCO Doctor

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.

    He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample...He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:
    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
    Semper Fi

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Asheville, NC
    Posts
    7,962

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    WOW!!! I would go ape on that thing if it could do all that.... but primarily because I would be pissed to get all that news from one machine... but still pretty funny non the less.. I can see it happening one day!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Punta Gorda, Florida
    Posts
    1,034

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Chico, CA
    Posts
    29,847

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    230 hp 4.3L Chevy
    Built 4L60E with manual lockout
    Atlas 4 speed
    Griffin radiator
    On board air
    Warn 9.5ti on custom bumper
    7.5" RE front and bastard pack rear on custom long arms
    30 gal gas tank
    lockers
    And a bunch of other stuff

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    South TEXAS
    Posts
    7,244

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    Good Dr. but I think that will be the future of healthcare in the not too distant future.
    Hey bubba get your hand off my ass,

    Some days it is just not worth it to gnaw through the leather restraints.

    R.I.P. Brian 96_XJ Perrine 1990-2011

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Perry County, PA
    Posts
    623

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    I want one of them..lol

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Lynchburg, VA
    Posts
    146

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Lakewood, CO
    Posts
    320

    Default Re: COSTCO Doctor

    Scary but true. It is only a matter of time before these kinds of machines are everywhere.

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