Cleaned
A man is walking through a park and suddenly has the overwhelming urge to take a dump.
So he spots a public toilet in the ditance an rushes over to it.
Once inside he drops his pants, sits on the seat and lets rip the biggest, sloppiest, most disgusting number 2 that he has ever done.
Despite the stink, he feel svery relieved to have something that toxic out out of his system and reaches for the toilet paper to remove the excess from his crack.
But...
"Oh God!", he yells.
There was no toilet paper!.
Still sitting his eyes dart around the cubical looking for any possible way to escape his current situation, a newspaper, a leaf, even a stick would do, but there was nothing.
Then, as he pondered his doom, he noticed that the perfectly clean walls had only one thing wrong with them, a hole to the right of the toilet that looked outside, but the curious thing was that the writing above this hole read:
"In case of toilet paper running out, wipe buttocks with index finger of right hand and place through hole to be cleaned by human lips".
The man thought for a second.
He didin't trust this idea, but what other choice did he have?
So the man proceeded to wipe his crack with his right finger, he scraped up all the runny parts, the solid bits, and even the in between pieces.
By the end his finger was caked in his own foecal matter.
He carefully placed it through the hole, making sure not to get it on the walls.
What the man didn't know, was that there was another man on the other side of the wall.
He was grinning widely as he raised a hammer above his head and smacked it down upon the crap covered finger poking through the hole.
Inside the cubical, the man screamed in pain, withdrew his finger from the hole, and immediately (Conforming to a base instinct or habit used by most humans) opened his mouth and sucked on his poor injured finger...
Cleaning it with human lips!
Hey bubba get your hand off my ass,
Some days it is just not worth it to gnaw through the leather restraints.
R.I.P. Brian 96_XJ Perrine 1990-2011
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