A guy walks into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. I really want you to know that I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter tells him, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
"You'll have to drive around in his 2010 Mercedes-Benz CL600, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
"Now this is rather awkward to say, but you'll also, as part of your job assignment, have to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20s and has a rather strong sex drive. She's kinky as hell actually, and the last man quit because she was too much for him."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, says, "You're bullPOOtin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well ... You started it."