> > > HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
> > >
> > > 1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
> > > work boots.
> > > 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
> > > magazine.
> > > 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
> > >
> > > 4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
> > >
> > > Bubba,
> > >
> > > Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be
back in an hour.
> > > Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the
mailman this morning and
> > > messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it
> > > was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
> > >
> > > Better wait outside. Be right back.
> > >
> > > "Cooter"