The Irish man won the boasting contest for "the best days of my life were spent between the legs of my wife." He went home and cleaned up the story for his wife to say," the best days of my life were in Church with my wife." His friend saw the wife the next day and commented on her husband's win and the wife said," I don't understand how he won. He's only been there twice. The first time he feel asleep and the next time I had to pull his ear to get him to come."