Little Johnny's cousin Little Billy

[BlueXJ]

LITTLE BILLY ON...LIFE
> >
> > Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
> > another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
> > "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you
> > acne,
> > rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >
> > Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> >
> > "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
> > time?"
> >
> > "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fawking business!!"
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> >
> > A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> > you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
BILLY.
> >
> > He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> >
> > The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
> >
> > Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides
> > of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top
and
> > sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which
> > one is married?"
> >
> > The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
> > that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >
> > To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
> > wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *******
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> >
> > Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
> >
> > "Why?" asks the father."
> >
> > "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
> >
> > "But that's right!" says his dad.
> >
> > "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> >
> > "What's the fawking difference?" asks the father?
> >
> > "That's what I said!"
> >
> > ************************************************** ********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> >
> > Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to
> > learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
> > multi-syllable word?"
> >
> > BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
> >
> > Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
> >
> > Little BILLY says,"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> >
> > ************************************************** **********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
> >
> > One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
> > hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
> > twice.
> >
> > First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
> > my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> >
> > "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > Michael.
> >
> > "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
> >
> > The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
called
> > on little BILLY.
> >
> > "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> > pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fawking beautiful".

[TXstiGUY]

I love the little billy jokes The birds and ice cream cone one is my favorite

[Audio222]

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word "'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'" Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him. Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8.

[4.3LXJ]

[BlueXJ]

Old but still great.