New AOL Policies
For those of you unfamiliar, America Online has adopted some new
policies. Here are some of their new reminder messages which pop up
frequently, depending on your level of use.
1. You have been online for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay online?
Please respond within 10 minutes or you will be logged off.
2. You have been online for 92 minutes? Do you still want to stay
online? Please respond within 10 minutes or you will be logged off.
3. You have been online for 135 minutes? Not to put any pressure on
you, but there are other people in the world who would like to sign on.
4. You DO realize that you have been online for 184 minutes, right?
When was the last time that you stood up or went outside?
5. OK, this is getting ridiculous! You have been online for 240
minutes. Frankly, you are beginning to piss us off. If you sign
off now, we will bring back your buddy list, OK?
6. You have now been online for 360 minutes. We promised you
unlimited time, we know, but can't you just finish up now and go read a
good book? Books are good too 'ya know !!!!!!
7. You have been online for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family
members' names? And no, they are NOT "hubby01" and "rugrats2,3,4,"
8. You have been online for 513 minutes. Your spouse has called from
Motel Six and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain online?
9. You have been online for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming over to
personally kick your butt. Pizza Hut has delivered twice now.
10. You have been online for 852 minutes. Do you have ANY idea how
many HOURS that is? You work less hours at your REAL job then this.
(640 minutes)
11. You have been online for 921 minutes. Do you realize that
America Online averages 921 complaints per hour regarding BUSY phone
lines.
That is because of YOU!! Now log off and go to bed!!
12. You have been online for 1000 minutes. When AOL went unlimited,
we didn't think you would take us literally. Now hang up!!!!!
Even Alexander G. Bell slept, sometime.
13. You have been online since yesterday.
We have taken the right to log you OFF. Techs are in route to your house
to remove the phone line. Your 
19.95 unlimited month fee is refunded.
Please don't call us, we'll call you.
We appreciate your business.
Hey bubba get your hand off my ass,
Some days it is just not worth it to gnaw through the leather restraints.
R.I.P. Brian 96_XJ Perrine 1990-2011
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