Figured it out. I thank you for the advice, but like Frankie, I did it my way. Which consisted of calling AAA, having it towed to a trusted alarm install business, talk them down on the price of a alarm/auto start/unlock system. 5 hours later...perfection. I'd really like to know how the hell you sell a vehicle with a POS alarm system and not have at least ONE fob that came with it. How do you lose 2 fobs?!?!?
Worked out, turns out the POS one in there was bad, to the point they had to remove it completely and do the install in the parking lot. Lesson learned. No fob, no sale