Special Whiskey

You have all probably heard this one but I thought it was worth re-tellin'

This guy walks into a bar and is already toe-up hammered, he sits down and slams his fist into the bar and yells "BAR-KEEP!, Gimme some of that Fahwkin XXX Whiskey up on that top shelf."

"Why no can do." the bartender replies "That's me special brew up there, Aint no man strong enough to handle a shot of that stuff, you'll be hammered for days."

The man reluctantly orders a tall glass of beer.

after about 7-8 more tall-boys he exclaims at the bartender. "BAR-KEEP!, Gimme some of that Fahwkin XXX Whiskey up on that top shelf."

"Now i tell ya, there's only one way that i'll let a man like you have a drink of me special whiskey." said the Bartender "You need to do me three tasks before i let you have some of me whiskey, First theres that big trouble maker at the end of the bar, cops wont do a thing about him, You knock his *** out and i'll think about it."

"THAT GUY?"
"HELL NO HE'S TEN TIMES MY SIZE!"

"Well sir, if you cant handle that man, you cant handle my whiskey."

"Out of curiosity, what are the other two tasks?" -asks the man

"Well i have this big alligator with a sore tooth in the back of me bar, pull out his sore tooth for me. and third is that i have a nasty-suicidal sister, she keeps threatening to blow her brains out unless someone will sleep with her, and i dont want me sister to take her life, so you need to take her virginity."

"Hell no" says the man.

The Man orders cocktail after cocktail when finally he asks the bartender once more what it is that he needs to do. The bartender replies and as soon as the 'tender was done, the man shot up onto his feet, grabbed a stool and broke it over the trouble maker's head.

"Nice going! that son of a bytch has been causing me grief for years."

"Where the hell is this god-damned gator?"

the bartender points to the back door and the man struts through the door and instantly the bartender and all of the guys sitting at the bar hear some raging and roaring and hootin and hollerin, then it goes silent.

All of the men bow their hats in memory of the brave man that they met just hours earlier.

All of the sudden the man bursts throught the door with a red face and sweat rolling down his forehead. before any of the guys could say anything the man yells out

"Now where in the FAHWK is this ugly girl and the sore tooth?!?"
__________________