John O'Reilly

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said," Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! he went home and told his wife Mary, " I won the prize for best toast of the night." She said, " Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, " here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife." " Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into on of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, " John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, " Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years." Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep."