6:00 Alarm
6:30 Massive, satisfying dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by shapely, buxom redhead.
7:30 limo arrives
7:45 couple of ice-cold beers en route to airport.
9:15 flight in personal Lear jet- finest scotch served in Baccarat crystal sniffer from green-eyed shapely blonde.
9:30 Limo to Augusta Nation Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine(2 under par)
11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, couple of ice-cold beers and bottle on Dom Peringon, served by beautiful blond.
12:20 Breaking news: Jesse Jackson discovered to be on Malaysia flight 370.
12:30 Play back nine(4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport
2:30 Fly to Bahamas.
2:40 News flash: Nancy Pelosi's plane shot down over Syria, apprehended by Isis.
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female shapely crew.
4:30 Land world record Marlin(1234 lbs.) on light tackle.
5:00 Fly home, massage by naked Elle Macpherson.
6:45 S, Shave and Shower
6:55 News flash: Harry Reid announced as America's 3rd Ebola victim.
7:00 Watch news. Al Sharpton assassinated.
7:30 Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon(1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served by shapely brunette.
9:40 News flash: Eric Holder and entourage missing after speaking engagement in Jackson Mississippi.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing cold beer.
11:30 night-cap
11:35 Obama resigns.
11:45 In bed alone.
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room.
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep- Can't wait for tomorrow.
