Congress to help elderly 50+

Subject: Fw: Congress Helping the Elderly -- 50+

Robert L. Henson, Sr.

Due to the current financial situation

caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress

has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50

years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs

and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as

RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be

RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT

program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons

who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW

program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person

may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as

Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED

could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse)

or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early

Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES

will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by

Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on

will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as

possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of

**** they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do

not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of

your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the ****

you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic

Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the

rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as

well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the

Tunnel has been turned off.
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