PDA

View Full Version : Squawks



BlueXJ
08-13-2011, 04:50 PM
Any of you guys ever on a flight creq. If so you know that flight crews reports problems with a squwak list. Here are a few and the solutions to the reported problem.


"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem
(S) = Solution

---

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

---

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

---

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

---

(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit

---

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed

---

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud

(S) Volume set to more believable level

---

(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order

---

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

---

(P) IFF inoperative

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

---

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

(S) That's what they're there for

---

(P) Number three engine missing

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

---

(P) Aircraft handles funny

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

---

(P) Target Radar hums

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

4.3LXJ
08-13-2011, 06:10 PM
Military Intelligence?

steph74
08-15-2011, 11:14 AM
ahahah those are always so funny....

bluedragon436
08-15-2011, 11:40 PM
Ahhh the fun times of reading retarded aircrew descrepencies!! Just think.. I deal with writeups like these every day!!

XJ4IV
08-16-2011, 12:33 AM
thats among the top ten funniest jokes Ive EVER seeon online... there HAS to be more!!??

BlueXJ
08-16-2011, 07:47 AM
thats among the top ten funniest jokes Ive EVER seeon online... there HAS to be more!!??

That can be your quest for today.:rolleye0012:

Paddletrucker
08-23-2011, 07:42 AM
Here's a few more I've heard before.

(P)Unfamiliar noise coming from No2 engine.
(S)Engine run for three hours. Noise now familiar.

(P)Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
(S)Pilot removed from aircraft.


(P)Suspected crack in windshield.
(S)Suspect you are right.

(P)No2 ADF needle runs wild. [ADF = Automatic Direction Finder/Finding?]
(S)Caught and tamed No2 ADF needle.


(P)Three roaches in cabin.
(S)One roach killed, one wounded, one got away.

(P)Turn and slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
(S)Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!