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OrangeXJ
04-19-2011, 08:32 AM
BRAVE MAN JOKES ---

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

steph74
04-19-2011, 08:59 AM
what to say when your wife come bothering you during the big game to ask you what you are watching ?
The dust on the coffee table....

OrangeXJ
04-19-2011, 09:35 AM
That one will get you too

BlueXJ
04-19-2011, 05:05 PM
what to say when your wife come bothering you during the big game to ask you what you are watching ?
The dust on the coffee table....

Do you have a deathwish? You have to sleep sometime.

4x4Dalton
04-19-2011, 05:09 PM
Well been nice knowin ya Steph lol.

steph74
04-19-2011, 05:21 PM
I still think the last one in the OP is the best ever....

BlueXJ
04-19-2011, 05:24 PM
I still think the last one in the OP is the best ever....


You may be correct. I know I want to go first. Could not do the crap she does and it needs doing and without her it would not get done. I know me well enough to say that.

xj4life2
04-21-2011, 07:22 PM
You may be correct. I know I want to go first. Could not do the crap she does and it needs doing and without her it would not get done. I know me well enough to say that.

sounds to me like Blues wife is reading his posts and he needs some makeup points lol lol

XJ Rat
04-22-2011, 05:23 AM
:D:D ;) :D:D Good ones. Here is another joke for your list..................



Why is a wedding dress white?

So it matches the color of the appliances in the kitchen.

BlueXJ
04-23-2011, 01:31 AM
What is the one food that we all eat that will eventually kill us?


Answer: Wedding Cake.

4.3LXJ
04-23-2011, 10:37 AM
I did something like that once. I was out fixing our fence when the wife came up and asked me what the one thing I wanted her most to do. I replied, go clean up that new range I just bought you.

Didn't speak to me for a week after that one.

Jamie Lynn
04-28-2011, 08:05 PM
Lol....that is funny