4.3LXJ
03-03-2010, 06:26 PM
GREAT TRUTHS THAT
LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how
hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom
is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your
hair.
3) If your sister
hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your
3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't
trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't
sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't
hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear
polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT
ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising
teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles
don't hurt.
3) Families are
like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's
mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
ground.
5) Laughing is
good exercise. It's like jogging on the
inside.
6) Middle age is
when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT
GROWNING OLD:
1) Growing old is
mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the
health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.
3) When you fall
down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're
getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's
frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a
great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes
with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF
LIFE:
1) You believe in
Santa Claus.
2) You don't
believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa
Claus.
4) You look like
Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success
is ... not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success
is ... having friends.
At age 17 success
is ... having a drivers license.
At age 35 success
is ... having money.
At age 50 success
is ... having money.
At age 70 success
is ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success
is ... having friends.
At age 80 success
is ... not piddling in your pants.
LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how
hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom
is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your
hair.
3) If your sister
hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your
3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't
trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't
sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't
hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear
polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT
ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising
teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles
don't hurt.
3) Families are
like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's
mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
ground.
5) Laughing is
good exercise. It's like jogging on the
inside.
6) Middle age is
when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT
GROWNING OLD:
1) Growing old is
mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the
health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.
3) When you fall
down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're
getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's
frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a
great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes
with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF
LIFE:
1) You believe in
Santa Claus.
2) You don't
believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa
Claus.
4) You look like
Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success
is ... not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success
is ... having friends.
At age 17 success
is ... having a drivers license.
At age 35 success
is ... having money.
At age 50 success
is ... having money.
At age 70 success
is ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success
is ... having friends.
At age 80 success
is ... not piddling in your pants.