4.3LXJ
03-03-2010, 10:34 AM
Thoughts to Ponder - great and small
I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?"
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES
THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF,
IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL
EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS?
ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME,
DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD
ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
ONE NICE THING ABOUT
EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
IF YOU TRY TO FAIL,
AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?"
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES
THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF,
IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL
EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS?
ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME,
DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD
ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
ONE NICE THING ABOUT
EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
IF YOU TRY TO FAIL,
AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?