BlueXJ
01-07-2010, 08:19 PM
Subject: Fw: Congress Helping the Elderly -- 50+
Robert L. Henson, Sr.
Due to the current financial situation
caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress
has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50
years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs
and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as
RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be
RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT
program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons
who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person
may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED
could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse)
or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES
will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by
Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on
will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as
possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of
**** they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do
not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of
your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the ****
you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic
Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the
rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as
well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
__________________
Robert L. Henson, Sr.
Due to the current financial situation
caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress
has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50
years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs
and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as
RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be
RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT
program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons
who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person
may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED
could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse)
or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES
will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by
Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on
will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as
possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of
**** they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do
not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of
your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the ****
you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic
Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the
rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as
well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
__________________