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bad luck
05-10-2014, 03:15 PM
SUWA, stands for Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance. A group of treehuggers who won't be satisfied until everything is closed down. Here is an article published in the local paper.
"SUWA demands No shoes on public lands
The strictest land protection measure yet"
The Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance, (SUWA), announced at a press conference, that it would soon launch a campaign for its toughest land protection measure yet- a complete ban on footwear within public lands. "It's the next logical step" SUWA executive director Scott Groene said "You don't wear your shoes into your mother's house, and you shouldn't wear your shoes in Mother Nature's house either."
The environmental organization, known for successfully banning all wheeled, motorized and non-motorized vehicles, as well as energy development from all public lands, says that it expects the 'no shoes' policy to go into effect by midsummer.
"No one listened when we asked people to tiptoe around the crypto," Groene said. "Now maybe they'll get the point."
SUWA says that the new regulations would require all user of public lands to remove footwear before entering any BLM, forest service, wilderness area. "Shoe stations with cubby holes will be installed by the appropriate agencies at heavily traveled entry points to various public lands.
Groene indicated that his staff and many of its members are already adhering voluntarily to the rule.
Reached for comment while walking barefoot on the Corona Arch trail, SUWA volunteer Miley Keller said, "Ooo! Ouch! Stupid goat-heads," as she removed a thorn from her heel, "Sorry, what was the question?"
Local outfitters throughout town are outraged by the campaign, saying that companies have threatened to pull their shoes from the shelves.
"Teva is one our biggest partners," Moab Adventure Center co-owner Jason Taylor said. "If they pull out, because of this regulation, we may as well pack up and go home."
Moab resident Don Bertrum said he was fed up with SUWA's unbridled influence over public lands policy making. "In 2003 they kicked out all the oil and gas wells," he said. "They told us that by 2014 all of our cars would be running on solar energy and moonbeams. Well, that didn't happen. And now I gotta go barefoot. It's just too much."
In case you didn't guess this was published on April 1st 2014.
But SUWA is a real organization that really wants to block all vehicle access to public lands. "Crypto" is referring to cryptobiotic soil, a living crust on large parts of the land around here. It holds moisture in the soil, and I go a long way to avoid walking on and trampling it.

XJ Wheeler
05-10-2014, 10:44 PM
Lol, good stuff. I surely get the point, which is sad but a funny way of getting it out there.

I was thinking while reading. "Just give the fine, my shoes are going nowhere!"

Sent via messenger pigeon - i talk, he types.

bad luck
05-11-2014, 08:45 AM
I put the wrong title on this. And I don't know how to change it. I'm surprised that you found this Jake.

bluedragon436
05-11-2014, 09:08 AM
Wow.. that seems a bit stupid.. I understand not wanting folks to walk on the Crypto or what have you with shoes on.. but other then that, seems like a completely retarded deal to me...

bad luck
05-11-2014, 10:59 AM
Wow.. that seems a bit stupid.. I understand not wanting folks to walk on the Crypto or what have you with shoes on.. but other then that, seems like a completely retarded deal to me...

I'm sorry I guess I didn't make it clear that the local newspaper published this as a prank on April Fools Day. I'm just slow at posting it. But you don't want to walk on the cryptobiotic soil with or without shoes.